Reasons To Be A Real Man ... Phone Conversations
are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You
can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
You can go to the bathroom without
a support group.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit
for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
If someone forgets to invite
you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
If you
are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
You can quietly enjoy a
car ride from the passenger's seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to clean if
the meter reader is coming.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for
hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
Wedding
dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks.
You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
If
another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
Your pals will never
trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You
know which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see
wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your
neck.
Gas (at either end) is cool.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of
shoes, one color, all seasons.
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